


cats rule the world (i don’t make the rules)

by beloniika



Series: multifandom social media AU [4]
Category: B.A.P, BLACKPINK (Band), CNBLUE (Band), EXO (Band), GOT7, JBJ (Band), NU'EST, SEVENTEEN (Band), Stray Kids (Band), Wanna One (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Social Media, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beloniika/pseuds/beloniika
Summary: Hyunbin creates a groupchat and with the help of Kenta and Yongguk tries to add fellow cat lovers.





	1. ฅ/ᐠ｡ᆽ｡ᐟ \

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where i'm going with this one :L
> 
> NICKNAMES:  
> Hyunbin=butler in training  
> Yongguk=Main Butler  
> Kenta=neko shitsuji  
> Shihyun=2nd in command [his is mostly a cameo]  
> Daniel=peterooney  
> Minseok=cat eyes

_**[cats rule the world (i don’t make the rules)]** _

_ <Kwon Hyunbin> created the chat <cats rule the world (i don’t make the rules)> _

_ <Kwon Hyunbin> added <Kim Yongguk> to the chat _

_ <Kwon Hyunbin> added <Takada Kenta> to the chat _

_ <Kwon Hyunbin> changed their nickname to <butler in training> _

_ <butler in training> changed <Kim Yongguk>’s nickname to <Main Butler> _

_ <butler in training> changed <Takada Kenta>’s nickname to <neko shitsuji> _

**Main Butler:** while the chat name is The Gospel Truth,was another chat really needed?

**butler in training:** well taehyun hyung and sanggyun hyung are this  close to kick us out of our main chat for spamming pics of tolbi and rcy

**butler in training:** idk about u but i wouldn’t chance pissing them off further

**Main Butler:** fair enough

**neko shitsuji:** well hyung is a damn hypocrite

**neko shitsuji:**

****

**Main Butler:** awwww!!

**butler in training:** where did you get that from???

**neko shitsuji:** it’s somewhere deep in his ig

**neko shitsuji:** iirc he took it while we were in macau with a group of friends 

**neko shitsuji:** it was before meeting you two

**butler in training:** i see…

**Main Butler:** i love when strays are so affectionate!

**neko shitsuji:** right?? 

**neko shitsuji:** btw only the 3 of us in this chat is kinda boring dont u think?

**neko shitsuji:** we need to spread the cat love! ლ(=ↀωↀ=)ლ

**Main Butler:** can’t say i disagree with that last part

**butler in training:** say yongguk, should we add your friend to the groupchat?

**Main Butler:** which friend?

**butler in training:** shihyun

**Main Butler:** he won’t like it

_ <butler in training> added <Kim Shihyun> to the chat _

_ <butler in training> changed <Kim Shihyun>’s nickname to <2nd in command> _

**butler in training:** appreciate me giving up my founding member of the chat status in favor of THE OG yongguk assistant™ 

**neko shitsuji:** *golf clap*

**2nd in command:** what is this

**butler in training:** hi shihyun! welcome to the cat butlers chat!

**2nd in command:** i have enough of hyung’s cats at home

**2nd in command:** as much as i like them i don’t wanna talk about them 24/7

_ <2nd in command> left the chat _

**Main Butler:** told you

_ <neko shitsuji> added <Kim Shihyun> to the chat _

_ <neko shitsuji> changed <Kim Shihyun>’s nickname to <2nd in command> _

**neko shitsuji:** don’t leave us :((((((((

**2nd in command:** …

**neko shitsuji:**  

**2nd in command:** if you promise not to use that ever again i might stay

**neko shitsuji:** roger that (｡･з･)ゞ

**2nd in command:** i…

**butler in training:** who else should we add?

**neko shitsuji:** how can you talk about cats and not mention daniel tbh?

**butler in training:** shit u rite

_ <butler in training> added <Kang Daniel> to the chat _

**Kang Daniel:** i love the name of this chat already

**butler in training:** hi hyung!

**neko shitsuji:** daniel! hello!

**Main Butler:** hey there

**Kang Daniel:** oh hello everyone!

**neko shitsuji:** it isn’t everyone :L

**butler in training:** shihyun is being difficult

_ <butler in training> poked <2nd in command> _

**2nd in command:** hi hyung

**Kang Daniel:** lol hi

**butler in training:** quick,pick a name!

**Kang Daniel:** ok!

_ <Kang Daniel> changed their nickname to <peterooney> _

**peterooney:** so,,,what are we doing here?

**butler in training:**  

**butler in training:** lol jokes aside we mainly talk about cats

**Main Butler:** post photos of cats

**neko shitsuji:** gush over cats

**butler in training:** whether they’re our own or someone else’s

**peterooney:** my people

**peterooney:**

**neko shitsuji:** awww!

**butler in training:** so pretty!

**butler in training:** ...you look good too hyung :P

**peterooney:** lol!

**Main Butler:**

**peterooney:** wait is this gc an exclusive one or are we allowed to add whomever?

**neko shitsuji:** anyone!

**Main Butler:** ***as long as they’re cat lovers

**peterooney:** gotcha

**peterooney:** so may i add this one hyung of mine?

**peterooney:** he got the prettiest kitten fairly recently

**butler in training:** more kitties 

_ <peterooney> added <Kim Minseok> to the chat _

**Kim Minseok:** ...hello?

**peterooney:** hyung! it’s daniel!

**Kim Minseok:** oh hi!

**peterooney:** my friends here made a chat to gather every cat lover we know lol

**butler in training:** hello i’m hyunbin!

**Main Butler:** i’m yongguk or longguo,nice to meet you

**neko shitsuji:** and i’m kenta! hi!

**butler in training:** we have another member but im suspecting he muted the chat

**Main Butler:** i just confirmed with him,he really did

**Kim Minseok:** lol it’s okay

**Kim Minseok:** i assume i have to pick a new name?

**butler in training:** it would be preferred,yes!

_ <Kim Minseok> changed their nickname to <cat eyes> _

**neko shitsuji:** do you really have cat eyes or do you just appreciate feline features?

**cat eyes:** both lol

**cat eyes:** i’ve been told i have pretty eyes,especially when i let my friend talk me into wearing makeup

**peterooney:** can attest to that

**butler in training:** ohhh can we see?

**butler in training:** if u dont mind

**cat eyes:** sure i guess

**cat eyes:**

**neko shitsuji:** wOW

**Main Butler:** very pretty eyes,yes

**butler in training:** you’re really handsome!

**peterooney:** thats the 1st thing i said as soon as i met him lol

**cat eyes:** lol i remember

**cat eyes:** thanks everyone

**butler in training:** i think it’s only fair that you see who you’re talking to lol

**butler in training:** since i asked you first lemme do the honors

**butler in training:**

****  


**Main Butler:** why this one?????

**Main Butler:** i could’ve sent one myself

**butler in training:** at least it’s in character with the chat! 

**Main Butler:** ...i guess so 

**butler in training:** anywaysss i’m the taller one and yongguk hyung is the other one ;)

**Main Butler:** “the other one”...you brat

**neko shitsuji:** and this is me!

**neko shitsuji:** no cat ears or whiskers tho 

**neko shitsuji:**

****

**peterooney:** you already know what i look like 

**cat eyes:** lol yes

**cat eyes:** thanks everyone, you all look great as well!

**neko shitsuji:** （。＞ω＜）。

**cat eyes:** btw i don’t want to impose a hierarchy,i’m just curious to know if i’m the eldest here?

**cat eyes:** ...i most likely am...

**peterooney:** sorry for breaking your heart but you are lol

**cat eyes:** should’ve figured  

**neko shitsuji:** oh daniel mentioned you getting a kitty,hyung?

**cat eyes:** yes!

**cat eyes:** to think i used to be scared of cats...

**cat eyes:** this is Tan,a maine coon

**cat eyes:**

****

**butler in training:** omgggggg Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

**Main Butler:** so beautiful!

**Main Butler:** and i’m glad you got over your fear!

**neko shitsuji:** so cuteeeeee o(≧∇≦o)

**peterooney:** kyaaaaa!!!

**cat eyes:** you’ve met him already,daniel...

**peterooney:** i know,but he’s so fluffyyyy

**cat eyes:** can’t deny it

**cat eyes:** yeah one of my best friends got two cats and i slowly warmed up to them

**cat eyes:** i never would’ve imagined i’d one day end up with a cat of my own but here i am

**Main Butler:** welcome to the dark side,we have cat food and scratch posts

**cat eyes:** right, i know daniel has two cats but do you guys have any?

**Main Butler:** i do

**Main Butler:**

****

**Main Butler:** the brown one is rcy, the black and white one is tolbi

**Main Butler:** tolbi has been with me the longest but is still young,rcy is the maknae-

**cat eyes:** they’re both very beautiful! and rcy looks playful

**Main Butler:** she really is,she even picks up toys like a dog

**cat eyes:** i’m looking forward to when i’ll be able to teach tan some tricks

**butler in training:** im so sad my building doesnt accept pets 

**butler in training:** at least i get to practice with hyung’s cats

**neko shitsuji:** and my roomie is allergic :L

**neko shitsuji:** i need to brush my clothes every time i leave yongguk’s place

**cat eyes:** i get how annoying it can be lmao

**cat eyes:** sorry guys but i gotta leave now

**cat eyes:** it was nice chatting with you and meeting daniel’s friends,talk to you soon

**peterooney:** thank you for accepting my invite!

**Main Butler:** thanks for hanging out with us

**neko shitsuji:** byeeeee (≧∇≦)/

**butler in training:** bye bye!

**butler in training:** if you know any other cat lover feel free to add them~

**cat eyes:** will do!

**cat eyes:** bye everyone

**peterooney:** bye hyung, see you on sunday

**peterooney:** aaand i need to peace out too,ttyl 

**butler in training:** you still up for some bball tomorrow afternoon?

**peterooney:** of course  same place same time?

**butler in training:**  yup, see you then

**neko shitsuji:** i think we’re all trickling away lol

**neko shitsuji:** bye everyone!

**Main Butler:** bye!

**butler in training:** hey hyung

**Main Butler:** yeah come over 

**butler in training:** ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

  
  


* * *

 

Liked by  **partlycloudy** ,  **kentakun** , and 187 others

 

**kimon**  nyang~nyang~nyang

 

[...]

**komurola**  hypocrite

**└ kimon**  ??? how deep did you scroll to leave this comment?

**└ kimon**  and what did i do to deserve it?!?

**└ komurola**  (¯ﾍ ¯  )

**└ kimon**  i knew you were weird but damn

  
  
  
  



	2. （✿＾・ﻌ・＾）

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've clarified this sooner but:  
> -not all the photos are of their real cats,either bc they haven't shared much or just for the sake of variety  
> -some of the characters may not even own or like cats irl but I liked the idea of them liking cats lol  
> -if the ages are iffy it's bc between my decision to slightly age them up in the whole AU and the mess that is the korean age system I confused myself like the dumbass I am  
> -the characters aren't rude,I simply avoided writing all of them greeting whenever s.o new appeared :L
> 
> ***
> 
> The korean lyrics are from Lim Jaebeom's song "Confession"

**Main Butler:**

**Main Butler:** good morning

**neko shitsuji:** tolbi! rcy! Hello!

**Main Butler:** ...

**butler in training:** lol hi hyung

**neko shitsuji:** ah! before i forget i know someone to add to the chat

**butler in training:** so do i! shall we?

_ <neko shitsuji> added <Choi Minki> to the chat _

_ <butler in training> added <Bam Bam> to the chat _

_ <butler in training> added <Moon Jongup> to the chat _

**Bam Bam:** new phone who dis

**butler in training:** double b! it’s hyunbin!

**Bam Bam:** yo man wassup!

**butler in training:** since you recently added cats to your mini zoo i thought u might like being part of a cat appreciation groupchat

**Bam Bam:** lol most of my “zoo” is @ my moms

**Bam Bam:** but sure man!

_ <Bam Bam> changed their nickname to <purrvert> _

**Main Butler:** purrvert? really now?

**purrvert:** i kinda always have my mind in the gutter sorry not sorry

**Main Butler:** *shrug* suit yourself

**peterooney:** hello everyone!

**peterooney:**

****

**neko shitsuji:** hey dan!

**Main Butler:** hi daniel

**butler in training:** he doesn’t look that pleased lol

**peterooney:** *she

**butler in training:** shit i forgot

**purrvert:** oh? it’s a girl cat?

**butler in training:** keep your furry self out of the premises

**purrvert:** YAH i’m not a furry u shit!

**cat eyes:** nice timing i have…

**peterooney:** hello hyung!

**neko shitsuji:** hiiiiiiiiii

**butler in training:** minseok hyung!

**Main Butler:** morning hyung

**purrvert:** hello i’m bambam!

**cat eyes:** i’m minseok,nice to meet you

**cat eyes:** original name you have

**purrvert:** i’m thai,we tend to go by nicknames rather than our real names

**cat eyes:** oh interesting!

**purrvert:** speaking of names what’s up with that cat?

**peterooney:** i...may or may not have thought that both my cats were males when i found them

**peterooney:** so i named one after my favorite football player and the other after spiderman

**peterooney:** next thing i know the vet tells me they’re both females

**peterooney:** but the names stuck :L

**purrvert:** HAHAHAHA

**butler in training:** pfffft

**Main Butler:** i knew the story already but i’m still speechless...

**neko shitsuji:** same

**neko shitsuji:**

****

**cat eyes:** oh daniel ^^;;;;

**Choi Minki:** hi? i just noticed i’ve been added here?

**neko shitsuji:** hi minki this is kenta!

**neko shitsuji:** we’re reuniting every cat lover/owner we know in this groupcat

**neko shitsuji:** hope you don’t mind me adding you

**Choi Minki:** oh not at all! it’s nice to meet you all

_ <Choi Minki> changed their nickname to <the purretty one> _

**peterooney:** lol “groupcat”

**neko shitsuji:** LMAO

**neko shitsuji:** freudian slip i guess

**2nd in command:** you know such big words?

**neko shitsuji:** HE LIVES!

**neko shitsuji:** wait

**neko shitsuji:** did you hang out with sanggyun recently?

**2nd in command:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**the purretty one:** what’s going on o.O

**neko shitsuji:** sorry for freaking y’all out lol

**neko shitsuji:** shihyun is our silent member whom we thought had muted the chat

**2nd in command:** i had indeed,but longguo hyung asked me to check in once in a while

**butler in training:** #whipped

**2nd in command:** excuse me?

**cat eyes:** i see new names,you said we can add people right?

**butler in training:** yep!

**cat eyes:** i mentioned this chat to the friend who converted me

**cat eyes:** might as well add him

_ <cat eyes> added <Lu Han> to the chat _

**cat eyes:** these friends have cats too

_ <cat eyes> added <Lee Sunny> to the chat _

_ <cat eyes> added <Kang Minhyuk> to the chat _

**peterooney:** that reminds me i have an acquaintance who likes cats

_ <peterooney> added <Jeon Wonwoo> to the chat _

**purrvert:** can i add  a couple of friends of mine?

**butler in training:** of course! the more the merrier

_ <purrvert> added <Lalisa Manoban> to the chat _

_ <purrvert> added <Im Jaebum> to the chat _

_ <purrvert> added <Park Jimin> to the chat _

**peterooney:** 어찌합~니까~~~

**butler in training:** 어떻게 할까요~

**purrvert:** LMAOOOOO

**purrvert:** our group of friends has teased him about it enough already

**peterooney:** good thing he isnt online yet and we got it out of our system

**Park Jimin:** hello?

**purrvert:** we also have a *whisper*JYP

**the purretty one:** only the initials or...?

**purrvert:** same first and last names!

**peterooney:** LOOOL

**the purretty one:** you got celebrities in your group lol

**Park Jimin:** helloooo?

**Lalisa Manoban:** oh what’s this? ( ・◇・)？

**purrvert:** hyung! lisa! its ya boi

**purrvert:** ur now part of the fight club

**Park Jimin:** aren’t you supposed to *not* talk about it?

**Lalisa Manoban:** unless this is the kinda fights going on i want nothing to do with yo club

**Lalisa Manoban:**

****

**peterooney:** one of us, one of us

**Main Butler:** fear not,the name of the chat gives away that we’re just a bunch of cat enthusiasts

**Lalisa Manoban:** (*´▽｀*）

_ <Lalisa Manoban> changed their nickname to <mew> _

_ <Park Jimin> changed their nickname to <calicos> _

**calicos:** hi i’m jimin ^^

**mew:** we’re lisa and leo, nice to meet you~

**mew:**

****

**neko shitsuji:** aw cuties!

**neko shitsuji:** hello jimin!

**the purretty one:** fellow kitten owner!

**cat eyes:** make it three of us

**butler in training:** welcome on board!

**Lu Han:** yo yo yo

**Lu Han:** minseok you here?

**cat eyes:** yeah~

**Lu Han:** okay good

**Lu Han:** hello everyone

**butler in training:** so many people joining im so happy (ﾉT▽T)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**Lu Han:** apt name for the gc btw

**Lu Han:** also glad to see you finally listen to me re:your eyes @minseok

**cat eyes:** shut up and change your nickname

**Lu Han:** i can’t think of anything…?

**Lu Han:** oh! oh! nevermind i got it

_ <Lu Han> changed their nickname to <cristiano romeowldo> _

**cat eyes:**  ...

**cristiano romeowldo:** teehee

**peterooney:** lemme guess you’re a fan of his?

**cat eyes:** that doesn’t even cover it

**cristiano romeowldo:** and i assume you’re a wayne rooney fan?

**cristiano romeowldo:** what about pete though?

**peterooney:** yup i named one of my cats after him

**peterooney:** oh peter is peter parker aka spiderman

**peterooney:** my other cat is good at climbing so i named her that

**cristiano romeowldo:** ...a female cat named peter?

**cristiano romeowldo:** i know there are a lot of unisex names but…

**cat eyes:** something tells me we’re going to have this conversation whenever a new member is added to the chat

**peterooney:** tldr they were strays, i named them before going to the vet who revealed they were both female but the names stuck

**the purretty one:** lol cats don’t care anyway about the gender of the names

**purrvert:** word

**purrvert:** sometimes they dont even care when u call em

**the purretty one:** true lol


	3. （＾Φ ﻌ Φ）

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap of the nicknames + new ones:  
> butler in training = Hyunbin  
> Main Butler = Longguo/Yongguk  
> neko shitsuji = Kenta  
> 2nd in command = Shihyun  
> peterooney = Daniel  
> cat eyes = Xiumin  
> purrvert = Bambam  
> the purretty one = Ren/Minki  
> cristiano romeowldo = Luhan  
> mew = Lisa  
> calicos = BTS Jimin  
> nko = JB  
> ddacchi = CNBlue Minhyuk  
> kirara = Wonwoo  
> saltnpepper = Sunny  
> korin = Jongup
> 
> ***
> 
> If ages are iffy it's because between my decision to age the characters up by a year in the whole series au, and the whole mess that is the korean age system, idk what numbers to write anymore >_>

**Im Jaebum:** i love the name of this chat already

**peterooney:** if this isn’t dejà-vu…

**Im Jaebum:** huh?

**peterooney:** i wrote those exact same words when i joined the gc

**purrvert:** hey hyung!

**purrvert:** (im bambam btw)

**purrvert:** welcome to the cat lovers anonymous

**Im Jaebum:** my people

**peterooney:** seriously wtf are u my twin or smth?

**peterooney:** is some time warp in action?

**Im Jaebum:** dude you good??

**peterooney:** look!

**peterooney:** _ [screenshots.jpg] _

**Im Jaebum:** …

**Im Jaebum:** it *is* quite freaky ngl

**cat eyes:** this is some twilight zone stuff

**purrvert:** this is some black mirror shit

**purrvert:** ...that comment is showing your age

**cat eyes:** yah

**Kang Minhyuk:** i guess i picked the wrong time to check what this invite was about?

**Jeon Wonwoo:** same

**Lee Sunny:** same

**Moon Jongup:** same

**cat eyes:** don’t worry,you’re in the right groupchat

**cat eyes:** i’m minseok btw

**Lee Sunny:** hii!!

**Kang Minhyuk:** oh hi hyung

**peterooney:** hey wonwoo! it’s daniel

**Jeon Wonwoo:** oh hey

**butler in training:** jongup hyung! it’s hyunbin

**Moon Jongup:** hi

**Kang Minhyuk:** i got worried for a moment

**cat eyes:** understandable

**the purretty one:** i don’t know what’s going on anymore either

**cristiano romeowldo:** i feel you guys

**Main Butler:** what an impression we’re making

**Main Butler:** and hyunbin or kenta hyung have nothing to do with it for once

**neko shitsuji:** i was about to say u.ù

**purrvert:** @minseok how old are u anw?

**purrvert:** i lost count of how many people called u hyung

**purrvert:** are u as strict with the age system as jb hyung?

**Im Jaebum:** stfu

**calicos:** he’s right and you know it hyung :P

**Im Jaebum:** who’s this?

**calicos:** jimin…

**Im Jaebum:** sorry i didn’t see when you changed your name

**Im Jaebum:** btw where does this alliance between you two come from??

**butler in training:** time, time

**butler in training:**

**butler in training:** before proceeding the newcomesr should switch to a nickname

**butler in training:** bonus points if related to cats

_ <Im Jaebum> changed their nickname to <nko> _

_ <Kang Minhyuk> changed their nickname to <ddacchi> _

_ <Jeon Wonwoo> changed their nickname to <kirara> _

_ <Lee Sunny> changed their nickname to <saltnpepper> _

_ <Moon Jongup> changed their nickname to <korin> _

**cat eyes:** to answer @bambam our youthful faces may say otherwise but both luhan and i are 30yo

**cristiano romeowldo:** you’re still the older one tho

**cat eyes:** by barely a month!

**purrvert:** hoooly

**butler in training:** we skirted around ages when you joined but you’re much older than i thought

**cat eyes:** gee thanks

**butler in training:** err i mean…

**cat eyes:** lol it’s okay i’m just joking

**purrvert:** us newbies gotta see those youthful faces too~

**cristiano romeowldo:**

******cristiano romeowldo:** i’m on the left,seok is on the right

**the purretty one:**...we kinda look alike...?

**the purretty one:**

****

**cristiano romeowldo:  holy shit**

**Main Butler:** you all look so young, you weren’t kidding

**butler in training:** youre cursed to have an old face @yongguk

**neko shitsuji:** more like old soul tbh @yongguk

**Main Butler:** …

**cristiano romeowldo:** how old are you lot anyways?

**peterooney:** im 24

**Main Butler:** 24

**kirara:** same

**neko shitsuji:** i’m 25!

**the purretty one:** me too~

**calicos:** so am I! :D

**korin:** me too

**neko shitsuji:** :D

**the purretty one:** :D

**butler in training:** bambam and i are 32

**purrvert:** bitch what?!?!

**purrvert:** ur fat fingers made us older tf

**butler in training:** geez sorry i meant 23!

**butler in training:** n my fingers are perfectly average thankuverymuch

**mew:** i’m 23 too ^-^

**ddacchi:** i'm 29

**nko:** i’m 27

**purrvert:** milking that january bday for all its worth

**nko:** bambam

**neko shitsuji:** i was born in january too!

**neko shitsuji:** maybe it’s because i’m japanese but i don’t really care for honorifics between people born in the same year

**purrvert:** our friend jackson would love you

**purrvert:** he and jb hyung have been arguing over their bdays being only 2 months apart for YEARS

**purrvert:** but then again he’s a foreigner too,so…

**saltnpepper:** this topic is physically paining me

**peterooney:** I know we shouldn't ask a lady for her age but…

**mew:** i’m sure you’re lovely unnie! (*≧▽≦)

**saltnpepper:** …

**saltnpepper:** fine. I'm 31

**saltnpepper:**

**mew:** so pretty!

**the purretty one:** you don't look a day older than 24

**cristiano romeowldo:** see? @sunny

**cat eyes:** told you you wouldn’t have anything to worry about

**saltnpepper:** (n˘v˘•)¬

**Main Butler:** that makes shihyun the youngest among us

**neko shitsuji:** if he participated to the chat

**2nd in command:** i muted the chat but my ears are ringing

**cat eyes:** nobody has died from calling or not calling someone hyung or noona

**calicos:** bambam has gotten dangerously close to tho lol

**cat eyes:** let’s agree to talk comfortably,hm?

**cat eyes:** is that alright with you @sunny?

**cat eyes:** @hyunbin too,since you made the chat

**saltnpepper:** of course 

**butler in training:** of course!!

**purrvert:** right jaebum? :)

**nko:** i know where you live

**purrvert:** : )

**peterooney:** idk about y’all but i see terror in that colon

**the purretty one:** bambam seems to like living on the edge

**mew:** he has straight out stomped that edge multiple times ngl


	4. (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the previous chapter in case you need a refresh of nicknames.
> 
> Friendly reminder that not all the photos used represent the exact cats they have irl, either because they haven't shared much or not at all, or i just suck at googling.

**Main Butler:** i’ve been meaning to ask

**Main Butler:** what does nko stand for?

**neko shitsuji:** maybe neko? :3

**the purretty one:** he’d need to get another cat to complete the word

**purrvert:** dont give him ideas

**calicos:** ^

**mew:** ^

**nko:** mind your business bam

**nko:** et tu jimin

**nko:** lisa...

**mew:** ;)

**calicos:** :D

**nko: ...** anyways

**nko:** those are the initials of my 3 cats

**nko:** nora

**nko:** kunta

**nko:** and odd

**peterooney:** omg 

**butler in training:**

**neko shitsuji:**

**saltnpepper:** aweeee

**cat eyes:** one prettier than the other

**cristiano romeowldo:** beauts

**the purretty one:** odd eyed cats are really cool

**neko shitsuji:** #stanloona

**the purretty one:** ...

**the purretty one:** i mean i agree but…

**calicos:** is kuntas photo from one of your photoshoots?

**ddacchi:** oh are you a photographer @jaebum?

**ddacchi:** beautiful cats btw

**purrvert:** nah he just subjects his poor cats to endless photo sessions

**nko:** Bambam.

**purrvert:**

****

**nko:** to answer your q @minhyuk it’s just a hobby

**nko:** ...not photographing cats,just photography in general…

**calicos:** don’t listen to him,he’s really good

**calicos:** one example is this photo he took of my cat

**calicos:**

**peterooney:** that explains your name lol

**calicos:** yeah lol

**saltnpepper:** OMG look at those eyes

**ddacchi:** beautiful composition and everything

**ddacchi:** beautiful cat too, of course

**calicos:** ^w^

**Main Butler:** so beautiful

**Main Butler:** is it one of the rare male calicos?

**calicos:** how did you know??  ∑(゜Д゜;) 

**butler in training:** he isn’t our resident cat butler for nothing

**Main Butler:** btw @jaebum i think you have the most cats among us

**butler in training:** lucky TT

**neko shitsuji:** TAT

**nko:** really? how many do you guys have?

**2nd in command:** i’m peacing out before you start your feline conference

**2nd in command:** welcome to the new members

**2nd in command:** i’m now going back to ignoring this chat for the most part

**2nd in command:** have fun without me

**Main Butler:** i apologize on shihyun’s behalf

**Main Butler:** in his defense he has to deal with my cats at home every day

**Main Butler:** as well as with hyunbin and kenta on an almost daily basis

**butler in training:** HEY

**neko shitsuji:** HEY

**cat eyes:** lol

**peterooney:** lol

**cristiano romeowldo:** lol

**the purretty one:** lol

**saltnpepper:** lol

**purrvert:** lol

**calicos:** lol

**mew:** lol

**ddacchi:** lol

**kirara:** lol

**korin:** lol

**Main Butler:** back on topic

**Main Butler:** i have two cats

********

**cristiano romeowldo:** same here

****

**peterooney:** same o/

****

**ddacchi:** these are my babies and the reason behind my name

****

**mew:** look at all that fluff!! o(≧∇≦o))))

**ddacchi:** that’s Chichi, a ragdoll

**ddacchi:** and you can’t see it well here but Ddadda is a munchkin

**Main Butler:** a cutie with short legs?

**saltnpepper:** i feel it

**cat eyes:** me too

**calicos:**  #tooreal

**korin:** same

**purrvert:**

**purrvert:** pudding n latte say hi

**neko shitsuji:** aw cute!

**Main Butler:** a sphynx and a devon rex?

**purrvert:** this man knows his stuff

**butler in training:** he’s the one i talked to u about getting my cat fix from

**purrvert:** ah right!

**saltnpepper:** i have a devon rex too!

**saltnpepper:** this is sogeum ^^

**cat eyes:** i recently got a kitten

**the purretty one:** me too

**mew:** me three!

**neko shitsuji:** hyunbin and i are the only idiots w/o cats then TT-TT

**kirara:** don’t worry,i don’t have one either

**korin:** same here

**butler in training:**

**mew:** aw ( ；´Д｀）

**the purretty one:** don’t give up guys,you will get one someday

**Main Butler:** minki is right

**Main Butler:** also i told you already,you like cats and that’s good enough

**neko shitsuji:** :’)

**butler in training:** TT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just noticed i've used different cats for Daniel through the whole fic...oops. Also one of Luhan's cats has sadly passed away,but for the sake of the fic let's say he has both (this is an AU,after all).
> 
> I'm temporarily saving this fic as complete bc i've currently run out of pre-written stuff, but I'll likely add to it like i'm doing to others in the same series.


	5. (^・x・^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obligatory new chapter after seeing [yongguk's IG update](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bkh-98QnvAj/?taken-by=catsgoesmeow_) \+ addition of lee know to the chat because [why not](https://www.instagram.com/p/BjwPEwaFZcS/?taken-by=realstraykids)
> 
> Nicknames are the still the same (check ch.3 for a recap),but for the brief instagram posts they are as follows (feat. guests):  
> Yongguk = gukgoesmeow  
> Lisa = lalilalisa  
> Bambam = bam2_dab2  
> Shihyun = fathershihyun [*because of the halloween costume he wore for a solo vlive]  
> Hyunbin = komurola  
> Kenta = kentakun  
> Taehyun = kimon | Taedong = tdongk | Yugyeom = yu-gi-ohm  
> Bang Chan = cb97 | DK = dkyeom | 15& Jimin = jamie.p

**butler in training:** dont talk to me ever again @yongguk @bambam

**neko shitsuji:** or me 

**cat eyes:** why?

**the purretty one:** what happened??

**butler in training:** here i am chilling in my sadly pet-less apartment

**butler in training:** scrolling through instagram out of boredom

**peterooney:** as you do

**butler in training:** AND SEE THEY BOTH WENT AND GOT A NEW CAT WHEN THEY ALREADY HAD 2 EACH

**kirara:** ouch

**korin:** leave some for the rest of us man

**nko:** welcome to the 3-cats club @yongguk @bambam

**2nd in command:** are you saying you won’t come around to play with the cats anymore? @hyunbin @kenta

**butler in training:** here he comes out of the woodwork .-.

**butler in training:** btw that’s nOT what i meant

**2nd in command:** too bad

**peterooney:** okay but...photos of the new kitties…

**saltnpepper:** ^

**ddacchi:** ^

**the purretty one:** ^

**korin:** ^

**kirara:** ^

**purrvert:** right

**purrvert:** SOMEONE’s bitterness ruined the mood

**butler in training:**

**neko shitsuji:**

**purrvert:** meet cupcake

**cristiano romeowldo:** i sense a theme in the names of your cats

**purrvert:** my job influences even the names i choose for my pets lol

**the purretty one:** where do you work?

**purrvert:** at every basic white girl’s nirvana

**cat eyes:** fall must be a fun time for you

**purrvert:** im nearly repulsed by pumpkin spice now

**calicos:** at least you didn’t pick outlandish names for your cats

**purrvert:** tru

**Main Butler:** this is kagu

**mew:**  so cu _ ~~~ _ te

**2nd in command:** icu posting a more flattering pic of both yourself and the kitty than the one you shared on ig

**2nd in command:** _[link]_

**the purretty one:** awe it looks pretty tousled

**neko shitsuji:** taedong isn’t completely wrong

**Main Butler:** shush

 

***

 

Liked by  **fathershihyun** ,  **tdongk** ,  **kimon** and 408 others

 

**gukgoesmeow**  the new maknae #kagu

 

**komurola** TRAITOR

**└ gukgoesmeow**  good grief

**tdongk**  that cat looks already resigned to your smothering affections   - _ 13 likes _

**kentakun**  icu @fathershihyun…   - _ 6 likes _

 

***

 

 

***

 

 

***

 

Liked by  **yu-gi-ohm** ,  **cb97** ,  **dkyeom** and 511 others

  
  


**bam2_dab2** _ i woke up like this~ _

  
  


**komurola** different cat but TRAITOR

**└ bam2_dab2**  chill man it’s just a cat

**cb97** _we flawless, ladies tell’em_

**└ jamie.p** gurlll

 

***

 

**[cats rule the world (i don’t make the rules)]**

**2nd in command:** guys

_ <2nd in command> added <Lee Minho> to the chat _

**2nd in command:** here is an acquaintance of mine who actually likes cats

**2nd in command:** he has a cat,too

**2nd in command:** can i leave the chat now?

**neko shitsuji:** no

**2nd in command:** dammit

**cristiano romeowldo:** i’ve been curious for a while about why exactly can’t you leave the chat

**cristiano romeowldo:** or became part of it,for that matter

**2nd in command:** as yongguk’s roommate i like his cats but i don’t care enough to talk about or share pics of cats in a dedicated gc

**2nd in command:** add one (1) hyunbin who created said gc and one (1) kenta who joined forces to add more people

**2nd in command:** and now they don’t let me leave @yongguk @hyunbin @kenta

**butler in training:** damn right 

**neko shitsuji:** cmon you love us!

**2nd in command:** you’re making it hard tho

**purrvert:** oh i know minho too!

**purrvert:** hey man it’s bambam!

**Lee Minho:** oh hey!! hi everyone

**butler in training:** welcome! we don’t talk only about cats

**korin:** or at least we try

**calicos:** to talk about cats or to not talk *only* about cats?

**korin:** yes

**calicos:** ...

**ddacchi:** all i’ve seen so far are introductions, photos sprinkled here and there, and banter with an unwilling gc member

**butler in training:** but we certainly don’t say no when someone shares pics of them!

**butler in training:** also it’d be better for everyone to have a nickname

**purrvert:** aww look at hyunbin wearing his big boy pants and moderating this place

**butler in training:** (；¬д¬)

**peterooney:** speaking of photos…

**Lee Minho:** on it!

_ <Lee Minho> changed their nickname to <linoandsuni> _

**linoandsuni:** lemme fit the theme of the gc

**linoandsuni:** hi i’m minho and i have a cat named suni

**cristiano romeowldo:** fellow orange cat owner!

**linoandsuni:**

**mew:** who’s lino?

**linoandsuni:** still me 

**linoandsuni:** my stage name when i dance is lee know, so of course my friends started calling me lino

**calicos:** oh you dance? so do i!

**nko:** and here i thought you knew everyone who danced lol

**calicos:** lmao only those who go to my school or know my friends

**calicos:** also that would be hobi hyung

**linoandsuni:** you teach? what’s your genre?

**linoandsuni:** wait you said hobi hyung?

**linoandsuni:** as in jung hoseok?

**calicos:** yeah i teach modern dance at a friend’s school

**calicos:** yes! how do you know him?

**linoandsuni:** our crews danced against each other a few times

**calicos:** so you probably know jeon jungkook too?

**linoandsuni:** yes! we’ve worked as backup dancers together sometimes

**calicos:** what a small world lol

**peterooney:** i just realized

**peterooney:** @jimin did you happen to be at a just dance competition in busan in 2011?

**calicos:** yeah i was born and raised and went to a dance academy there actually,why?

**peterooney:** holy--

**peterooney:** i know it’s quite a long shot since there were quite a few breakdancers but

**peterooney:** i’m kang euigeon!

**calicos:** wait i remember this name

**calicos:** omg hi

**calicos:** the world is really tiny lol

**ddacchi:** i thought ur name was daniel?

**peterooney:** i changed it bc nearly nobody was able to pronounce it

**peterooney:** not even my father

**ddacchi:** lol

**purrvert:** tell me about it

**purrvert:** its part of my culture to go by nicknames tbh

**purrvert:** but my real name is p difficult for koreans to pronounce so i understand completely lol

**peterooney:** lol 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the list of followers is yongguk's - in order they are: Ren, Xiumin, Luhan, Bambam, JB, Jimin, Minhyuk, Lisa, Sunny, Jongup, Wonwoo
> 
> i will eventually make jongup and wonwoo more involved in the gc...


	6. (,,^・⋏・^,,)

**korin:** i finally have smth to contribute to the chat

**butler in training:** he talks!!!

**neko shitsuji:** oh? 

**the purretty one:** do share

**korin:** so a friend of a friend has cats

**korin:** ive catsit for her before,but in this particular occasion she had to leave for a family emergency right around the time she would’ve received the rescue kitten she adopted from another region

**korin:** long story short i took the kitty in for her and have been nearly housesitting as well since then

**korin:** the problem is that her older cat spoiled me with her calm nature, all i had to do was feed her and pet her

**korin:** now i have my hands full with an hyperactive and curious kitten who wants to play but stabs me with its damn sharp claws in the process, even while simply kneading my arm or stomach or whatever

**korin:** rushes to sniff and bite at everything new i get in my hands

**korin:** demands to be picked up when i let the cats on the balcony bc i’ve been instructed not to let the kitten jump on the rail and i have to stop it every time it tries to, so it jumps on me instead

**korin:** also when i take too long to give it food

**korin:** to add insult to injury --and lemme tell ya i’m covered in scratches-- the older cat has been ignoring me since the kitten’s arrival

**korin:** no matter how hard i try to call her, pet her or involve her in games she ignores me and even walks away as soon as i manage to sneak a pat on her back

**korin:** except when it’s food time,but she just meows at me to hurry up filling her bowl or quickly weaves through my legs before rushing to eat

**korin:** we’re now on day 4

**korin:** some tension was expected but not towards me

**korin:** it’s not my fault your owner got an intruder, please love me again TT

**nko:** open letter to a cat

**the purretty one:** damn that gotta hurt

**neko shitsuji:** so cold calling the kitten “it”... ( =3=)

**linoandsuni:** i smell a little jealousy and favoritism

**peterooney:** 내가 아닌 다른 사람 빤히~

쳐다보는 눈빛~

**ddacchi:** idk what i’d do if my cats ignored me out of spite

**ddacchi:** i got so lucky

**kirara:** that reminds me of the time i let a friend convince me to catsit for him during our 1st or 2nd year of college and he had recently gotten a kitty

**kirara:** i accepted thinking i could get some time to study in peace for my exam w/o my roommate's friends coming and going like we were a damn motel

 **kirara:** i underestimated the kitty's energy and curiosity so i had him all up in my space and on my shit,whether it was my notes or - worse - my laptop

**kirara:** he didn’t keysmash and freeze it into oblivion out of sheer luck

**Main Butler:** oh sweet summer child

**Main Butler:** peace and quiet to study are the very last thing to expect when dealing with a rambunctious kitten 

**kirara:** now i know

**cristiano romeowldo:** that^^ reminds me of my cats the first few days after they became two

**cristiano romeowldo:** the calmer and older one used to be all about my scritches,but ignored me out of jealousy and irritation for invasion of territory

**peterooney:** “hooman how could u”

**cristiano romeowldo:** always kept an eye on the “intruder” and kept him in check with his hisses,but also got tired of the younger’s playfulness

**cristiano romeowldo:** to the point of retreating into the spare room for some peace and quiet,acting like a teenager who wants nothing to do with kids or like an old man who doesn't understand the youth

**cristiano romeowldo:** not like he's some ancient being,he was like 3yo while the kitty was 6mo

**cristiano romeowldo:** i gotta give it to him tho,little shit was quite the terror, especially with my slippers

**the purretty one:** so was mine! He seemed to have a vengeance for slippers worse than dogs idky

**cristiano romeowldo:** i even showed him the kitten whenever he was on my lap for his cuddles and said

**cristiano romeowldo:** this could be us but you playin

**cristiano romeowldo:** and nothing,it took at least a week before they got used to each other and included me as well

**cat eyes:**

**cat eyes:** i can't believe you genuinely told a cat  _ that _

**cat eyes:** i hope you're just playing it up for the chat

**cristiano romeowldo:** you know me better than that

**cat eyes:** …

**cat eyes:** he really did,oh my god

**peterooney:** when i first got peter she was quite hesitant to approach us

**peterooney:** i nearly got legit tears in my eyes when she walked up to me sprawled on the floor and lightly tapped my stomach 

**peterooney:** only to remove her paw and look away nonchalantly when i moved my head to see who did that

**neko shitsuji:** aww!

**mew:** shy bb!

**butler in training:** tolbi did it too one of the first few times i visited TTTT i cried for real no shame

**nko:** you got a tsundere on your hands

**linoandsuni:** arent all cats?

**purrvert:** #facts

**peterooney:** that’s quite the stereotype but i can’t fully refute it ngl

**calicos:** my cat was a rescue jellybean who used to suckle my fingers while kneading air or my arm for the first few months of his life

**saltnpepper:** awe!

**calicos:** it was fine until his claws got sharper,but oh well

**calicos:** i’m carrying those scars with pride lol

**nko:** rt

**Main Butler:** rt

**ddacchi:** my cats never scratched me

**purrvert:** yeah we get it,your cats are angels irl

**ddacchi:** the only scar i got was from the time i gave them a bath without closing the bathroom door

**ddacchi:** ddadda dashed away,i slipped in my attempt to fetch her back and split my forehead open 

**linoandsuni:** ouch

**purrvert:** lol dumbass

**ddacchi:** ...i can’t even be mad because it’s true

**purrvert:** that^^^ reminds me of the time an ex gf was convinced i was cheating on her

**purrvert:** she didnt want to believe the scratches on my back were caused by my asshole cat who enjoys catching me by surprise with his claws on full display

**purrvert:** climbing on me or jumping on my back with no warning

**purrvert:** naked or clothed

**purrvert:** so she broke up with me

**Main Butler:** tragic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all i would've eventually made Jongup and Wonwoo a bit more participant.  
> I always forgot to mention that their nicks come respectively from Dragon Ball (korin) and Inuyasha (kirara).
> 
> \---
> 
> The korean lyrics are from Monsta X "Jealousy"
> 
> \---
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by my ongoing catsitting stint, scratches et all*, rearranging what happened to me in the past few days. Bea love me again,please TTATT
> 
> *except for Minhyuk's story,that's a dramatization of one of his I Live Alone episodes. And nobody broke up with me over cat scratches lol


	7. Chapter 7

**[cats rule the world (i don’t make the rules)]**

_ <butler in training> changed the groupchat icon _

**butler in training:** it was long due

 **ddacchi** **:** ditto

 **korin** **:**  

  
  
***

Liked by **lalilalisa** , **chimichangas** , **defbum** and 834 others

 

 **komurola** FINALLY 

Meet Luna and Al

#itonlytookme23years #cats #kitties #catsofinstagram

 

 **dongbapstagram** two at once? go big or go home i guess

 **└ komurola** at least they grow up together and the risk of jealousy is limited

 **└ kentakun** #smarthyunbin

 **└ boomboompow** for once

 **└ komurola** @kentakun 

 **└ komurola** @bomboompow 

**lu_cr7** does your landlord know u smuggled em home?

 **└ komurola** as a matter of fact i changed place altogether lol

 **└ spicnspan** for the sole purpose of getting cats???

 **└ komurola** nah i was already planning to finally move out of my parents’ house

 **└ komurola**...but it was a determining factor in the contract ngl

 **paddedshoulders** was it really building rules or were your parents the ones who didnt want pets? Lol

 **└ komurola** both lmao

 **fathershihyun** here we go with another account totally devoted to cats [rolleyes]

 **└ komurola** y u so bitter

 

***

 

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 **lalilalisa**   

 

\---

 

Liked by **chimichangas** , **bam2_dab2** , **rose.mango** and 734 others

 

 **lalilalisa**  they played a lot  

 

***

 

Liked by **busanguitar** , **deffdanik** , **bookwoorm** and 765 others

 

 **mrkang**  they’re a bit too big to use as toothpicks, Chichi…

 

***

 

****Liked by **spicknspan** , **lu_cr7** , **hyostar** and 765 others

 

 **sunny15**     


***

 

Liked by **jellotower** , **sun_world** and 318 others

 

 **m_j_up**  hullo

 

 **komurola**  where u at

 **└ m_j_up** in bed

 **└ komurola** that much i figured

 **└ m_j_up** i overslept

 **└ komurola** well move it, hyung said we’re leaving u behind if ure not at his place in 15min

 

***

 

 

***

 

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 **bam2_dab2**  *dj khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE

Welcome King 

 

 **J852king**  theres only one king here 

 **tunadimsum**  it looks like a bat

**└ **bam2_dab2**   take that back**

***

 

Liked by **lu_cr7** , **gukgoesmeow** , **mrkang** and 765 others

 

 **deffdanik** what a beaut!

 **└ defbum** b/w that whole doppelganger comments when we joined the gc and our similar nicknames here,if i didn’t know better i’d think you were me

 **└ deffdanik** #2spooky4me

 **paddedshoulders** so beautiful!

 **lu_cr7** so glad i made you get over your fear of cats

 **└ deffdanik** you were scared of cats @spicknspan??? 

 **└ spicknspan** @deffdanik yeah a big one scared me as a kid ^^;

 

***

 

**[cats rule the world (i don’t make the rules)]**

**neko shitsuji:** at this rate the three of us should make a separate gc for cat-less catlads @jongup @wonwoo

 **kirara:** tbh

 **korin:** agreed

 **mew:** aww dont leave us TT

 **purrvert:** jb is drowning in pussy,he could leave you some

 **chimichangas:** what a poet

 **nko:** Bambam

 **purrvert:** right

 **purrvert:** jb *hyung

 **nko:** that’s not…

 **nko:**  

 **linoandsuni:** you’re one to talk @bambam

 **linoandsuni:** don’t think we missed your newest kitten on ig

 **cristiano romeowldo** how many cats you got now?

 **purrvert:**  

**purrvert:** only 4

 **kirara:** “only 4” he says

 **kentakun:** some of us got none 

**calicos:** 4 for now,you mean

 **purrvert:** maaayyybeee?

 **saltnpepper** **:** speaking of which

 **saltnpepper** **:** is it just my impression or there’s an odd one out of the other cats you got?

 **saltnpepper** **:** it looks like lisa’s

 **purrvert:** yup

 **mew:** he tagged along when i decided to get leo and he ended up getting another cat as well

 **mew:** so far he only got short hair cats bc he doesnt want fur all over his clothes so i was surprised by his choice

**korin:**

> he doesnt want fur all over his clothes

**purrvert:**

**korin:**


End file.
